


The Language of the Soul

by A Sirius Crush On Moony (Obsession137)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Incest, Multi, Sibling Incest, Slash, Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:19:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 12,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7368847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsession137/pseuds/A%20Sirius%20Crush%20On%20Moony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots and drabbles set in the Marauders Era that focus on different emotions.  Mainly Sirius/Remus and Sirius/Regulus, but many other pairings are included.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bored (Sirius/Remus)

**Author's Note:**

> Sirius is bored and he won't let Remus get any peace. Emotion - Bored.
> 
> Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.

"Moony," came a whiny voice from across the desk. "I am bored."

Remus closed his eyes, frustrated, and forced himself to put his book down on the desk and look across at the source of the whiny voice – Sirius.

Sirius blinked at him expectantly and cocked his head to the side.

"Okay Sirius. You've caught my attention," Remus said simply. "You're bored. What would you like me to do about it?"

Remus saw a smile appear on Sirius's face.

"What is it?" Remus asked. Sirius did not reply, but only kept smiling at him. Sighing, Remus picked his book up again and started reading.

"Moony, I'm _bored_."

Remus slammed the book down maybe a little too hard and stared at Sirius. "Okay. What can I do about it?"

Sirius just grinned at him but remained completely silent. Feeling himself getting very irritated, Remus picked up the book and continued reading.

"I'm bored, Moony."

Gritting his teeth, Remus put the book down and folded his arms. "Really? I never would have guessed."

Sirius grinned again.

"You keep telling me that you're bored, so I put my book down. But then you just sit there smiling like an idiot, so I start reading again and you complain that you're bored."

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius asked.

"Not really," Remus replied.

"It's boring when you're reading your book because your eyes aren't looking into mine," Sirius said. "But when you _do_ look at me, it's the most interesting thing in the world and I can't help but smile."

Remus really did try not to smile at this, but how could he not? Yes, Sirius was irritating as hell but he was also extremely sweet. Feeling that butterfly feeling in his stomach, Remus picked up his book again and began reading.

"Moony, I'm bored."

Well, the sweetness was short-lived.


	2. Angry (Sirius/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus finds it difficult to stay mad at Remus. Emotion - Angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

If there was one thing that Remus Lupin had learnt over the years of being in a relationship with Sirius Black, it was that Sirius was very _very_ difficult to stay angry with. He supposed it was probably a good thing, but right now it wasn't doing him any favours.

"Sirius, look," Remus said, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I am a _prefect_ , and I cannot keep bending the rules because you feel like doing extravagant things that aren't allowed."

Sirius pouted, his beautiful face looking – if possible – even more beautiful. "But, Moony-"

"-NO!" Remus yelled. "Do you know how much trouble I was in for not giving you detention for skinny dipping in the Black Lake?"

Sirius shrugged.

"A _lot_ of trouble, Sirius," Remus continued, trying hard not to look at Sirius's face. "Not to mention, the Giant Squid could have eaten you!"

"But you love me," Sirius replied, blinking innocently at Remus.

Remus couldn't deny this. "Yes, I do. But-"

"-And _I_ love _you_ ," Sirius said softly, moving closer to him. Remus sighed and finally looked into those grey eyes that he loved so much.

"Sirius," Remus groaned. "I'm _angry_ with you."

"You don't _have_ to be," Sirius whispered, stroking Remus's cheek gently. "I can think of so many other things you could be feeling right now. With me."

Remus closed his eyes, leaning into Sirius's touch. "Mmm… _no,_ I can't" he exclaimed, taking a step back and composing himself. As much as he really wanted to stop being angry, he knew he shouldn't. "I'm still angry with you."

Sirius huffed. "I'd rather you weren't."

"Well, I am."

A smirk danced on Sirius's lips and a glimmer shone in his eyes. "They say that angry sex is the hottest kind of sex there is."

And this was why Remus Lupin could not stay angry with Sirius Black.


	3. Insecure (Sirius/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius has always felt insecure in his own skin. Emotion - insecure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.

When Sirius Black was eleven years old, his father told him to get himself a wife or he'd be lonely. It wasn't often that the eldest Black heeded the words of his father, but he could see the man's point on this particular occasion. He most certainly didn't want to be lonely. So, from the moment he stepped on the Hogwarts Express on his first day of school, Sirius was on the lookout for a wife.

By the end of his first year, Sirius hadn't managed to find a suitable wife. He supposed he was a bit young. Girls just seemed disgusting in his eyes. At his age, he'd rather be throwing dungbombs into Severus Snape's bag.

So he tried again in second year, but he was also unsuccessful. Twelve was also a little bit too young, he decided. He would definitely find himself a wife in third year – he would be a _teenager_.

Third year flew by and not a wife to be seen. Sirius was starting to get a little worried. It was in third year that Sirius became insecure. He wondered what could possibly be wrong with him. Why could he not find a wife? His best friend, James, had set his eyes on Lily Evans. Sirius just wished he could find a nice girl.

Fourth year came and went, and Sirius decided that enough was enough. Sirius had his first kiss in fourth year with Marlene McKinnon. She was average. Sirius didn't understand why boys found girls so pretty. And the kiss? It was like kissing the back of his hand. While Marlene looked as though Christmas had come early, Sirius felt as though his wedding day would never come. After Marlene, Sirius kissed around ten other girls. Apparently, Sirius was a catch, but he didn't enjoy any of those kisses. So fourth year ended and he still hadn't found himself a wife.

When fifth year started, Sirius felt like he was being controlled by his insecurities. He wished that he was James. Hell, he even wished that he was Peter sometimes, because even Peter had found love, and he seemed to enjoy every bit of it. One day, he decided to sit down with James and speak to him about his dilemma.

"How do you know that you are in love?" Sirius asked.

"She just brightens up my day, you know?" James said dreamily, staring at the red-head from across the room. "I can't look at her without smiling. I would do _anything_ to protect her. Hey, kinda like you and Remus, right?"

"Hm?"

"That's it!" James said excitedly. "You're in love with Remus!"

"I beg your pardon?" Sirius demanded, outraged. He couldn't be in love with _Remus_. Remus was a boy! It was just absurd.

"Trust me, I'm right. The way the two of you act around each other – it all makes sense now! The way you look at him, and talk about him, and the way you defend him and protect him. You love him!"

"I am not having this ridiculous discussion," Sirius snapped, walking away. But the thought could not be dislodged from his head. The things James had said _did_ make sense, as much as Sirius hated to admit it. Sirius couldn't be gay. This thought just made him feel ten times as insecure as he had already been. Even if he _was_ gay, he most certainly didn't _want_ to be. He wished he could be someone else.

By the time sixth year had started, Sirius had been struggling with his sexuality for exactly six months. He definitely didn't like girls – that much had always been clear. But he didn't like boys. He just liked _Remus_. No, he had gotten past that point. He _loved_ Remus. But he couldn't find a way to tell his friend. He was so afraid of what Remus would say. Being in love with Remus was tearing Sirius apart inside. He didn't want to love him, and he wanted a wife _so_ badly. He wanted to find the girl that he was supposed to find at eleven years old.

But when Sirius thought of marriage, the first person that popped into his head was Remus. _You're a Gryffindor_ , Sirius told himself. _Work up the courage and tell him_. But sixth year ended and Remus was still unaware of Sirius's feelings.

Seventh year started and Sirius was still very insecure in his own skin. He watched all of his classmates starting relationships and ending relationships, and there was him, secretly in love with one of his best friends. James and Lily had finally gotten together, and Sirius really _was_ happy. He watched them from afar, and when James caught his eye, he headed over to Sirius.

"Why are you not kissing Remus right now?" James demanded.

"I can't tell him."

"You _will_ tell him," James said. "Trust me, he loves you."

"How do you know?" Sirius asked.

"Because," James sighed, looking exhausted. "Look, you two are as bad as each other. You both spend every day whining to me about how you can't have each other and I keep telling you both to admit your feelings to each other but you are both too scared and insecure."

Sirius couldn't explain the feeling in his chest. He had never felt anything quite like it before. It was as though his heart was fluttering, cliché as that sounded. So, with James's words ringing in his head, Sirius grabbed the Marauder's Map and scoured it for the location of Remus. A little dot indicated that Remus was upstairs in the dormitory. When Sirius arrived, he walked straight up to Remus and cleared his throat.

"Remus, I-" Sirius started, suddenly feeling nervous. "I have to talk to you."

Remus peered up at him from behind the book he was reading. "Go on."

Sirius fiddled nervously with the hem of his shirt and avoided eye contact with Remus. "I'm in love."

Sirius saw Remus put his book away from the corner of his eye. He glanced at Remus, who was looking white as a sheet. _Merlin_ , Sirius thought. _Why is he so scared?_

"Who are you in love with?" Remus asked.

Sirius closed his eyes. This was it – the moment that he'd been waiting for. "You," he whispered.

Remus's face resumed its usual colour, and before Sirius could realise what was happening, Remus had lunged at him. Their lips met, fitting perfectly together in a kiss that ignited every nerve in Sirius's body. It was like his body was on fire, but in a good way. The kiss was very short and very sweet, and when it was over, Sirius grinned at Remus.

For Sirius was no longer insecure. He had finally found what he'd been looking for, and Remus may not be female, or something that his parents would approve of, but Sirius was in love with him and he was very much okay with that.


	4. Lonely (Regulus/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus went through his life only loving one person, and it made him lonely. Emotion - Lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Regulus Black (incest).

From the day that he was born till that day that he died, Regulus Black had only ever truly loved one person.

Growing up was a hardship in the Black family. There were so many rules about what you could and couldn't do, and what was acceptable and what wasn't. Regulus tried to abide by these rules, but even _he_ found it difficult sometimes. He got by with the knowledge that his parents would only make him do these things because they loved him, and he loved them. But love was a foreign concept. He didn't truly know what it was.

His older brother, Sirius was something else. From the earliest moment that Regulus could remember, he had always looked up to Sirius as his hero, his role-model. Sirius was only two years older, but he protected Regulus as if his life depended on it. When Regulus would slip up on one of their family's rules, Sirius would always take the blame. Regulus was thankful for this when he was young, but when he grew a bit older, he wondered why Sirius would do something like that for him.

" _Why did you tell them that you did it?"_ an eight-year old Regulus asked, frowning at his older brother. Sirius winced as he clutched his arm.

" _I didn't want you to get into trouble_ ," Sirius replied.

" _But they hurt you, Sirius!"_

" _I couldn't have them hurting_ you _now, could I?"_ Sirius said, patting his little brother on the back and smiling sadly at him.

" _But what will happen when you go to Hogwarts?"_ Regulus asked, eyes wide in fear. _"What if I mess up?"_

" _You won't,"_ Sirius promised.

" _Sirius, I love you,"_ Regulus said, throwing his small arms around Sirius and hugging him tightly. Sirius smiled and hugged him back.

And that was the first time that Regulus had ever said 'I love you'. The years went by, and Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor while Regulus was sorted into Slytherin. But their houses did not push them apart. They still shared the same bond that they always had.

Regulus made friends while at Hogwarts, but he didn't love them. Not in the way that Sirius seemed to love his friends. While at Hogwarts, Regulus started to feel lonely. Sure, he had his friends and his parents, but he needed something more. He needed to love and to be loved.

He searched for love in every corner of his life, but none was to be found. He watched as the only person who had ever loved him, fell in love. It hurt to watch, so Regulus tried not to pay attention as Sirius and Marlene McKinnon skipped around the school in bliss.

But soon enough, the couple had broken up, and Sirius came to Regulus for what seemed to be advice.

" _I broke up with Marlene,"_ Sirius said with sadness in his voice. Regulus was pleased that they had broken up, but tried not to show it.

" _Why are you so sad?"_ Regulus asked in confusion. _"If you broke up with_ her _, then why are_ you _sad?"_

Sirius sighed. _"Because there's something really wrong with me."_

Regulus's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. _"What's wrong?"_

" _I broke up with her because I don't love her,"_ Sirius said. _"But I've fallen in love with someone else – someone I really shouldn't be in love with."_

Regulus wondered who it could be. He wondered, and then asked. _"Who?"_

The pained look in Sirius's eyes gave the impression that he was afraid to tell Regulus who it was. It made Regulus want to run over to him and hug him like they'd done when they were kids. Regulus wanted Sirius to know that he loved him, no matter what.

" _I don't think I can tell you,"_ Sirius whispered.

" _Sirius, I will always love you,"_ Regulus promised, giving him a small smile of encouragement. _"You can tell me anything and I won't judge you or think any less of you."_

Sirius nodded at this. _"Okay. I think I've fallen in love with_ you _, Reg."_

There was a long moment of silence that followed Sirius's words, as Regulus registered what he had said. No wonder he had been afraid. It was wrong in every sense.

But for some reason, Regulus could not hate him. For some reason, Regulus was happy that Sirius was in love with him. For some reason, Sirius's revelation made Regulus close the gap between them with a kiss.

From there on, the two were almost inseparable. The love that they held for one another was only magnified by their newfound feelings. They had always loved each other platonically, but now they loved each other romantically, and the mixture of the two was the most intense feeling they could possibly imagine.

Their brief moment of happiness was just that – brief. Life began getting in the way, and Regulus, always the one to want to please, made some bad decisions. After craving love from his parents for so long, they became his weakness and ultimately his undoing. Regulus would do anything that they told him to. This was one of the things that pushed Sirius away from him.

Because Regulus was too old to protect. He could make his own decisions, and he chose wrong. So Sirius, after many warnings, walked out of Regulus's life when he joined the Death Eaters at the request of his parents.

Sirius, who had loved him from the start.

Sirius, who had been his brother.

Sirius, who had been his lover.

Sirius, who didn't want a thing to do with him.

And Regulus was completely alone in the world, for the first time in his life.

* * *

Regulus was going to die, and he knew it. He had plans to help bring Voldemort down, but he knew that he would die in the process. He was okay with that. As he stood at the mouth of the cave that held the thing that he needed to destroy, all he could think of was Sirius. A sentence that Sirius had once said to him kept replaying in his head, as though on a loop.

" _Only those I really love will ever really know me."_

Regulus could relate to this completely. There was not a person in the world that Regulus loved anymore. Not a person in the world who loved him in return. There was nobody in the world who really knew Regulus.

And when Regulus was being pulled beneath the water, he couldn't help but feel that he had wasted his life. What was supposed to be a noble sacrifice had become an unhappy realisation.

Regulus was going to die, and nobody would care. Not a soul would even notice. Nobody would miss him. Nobody would grieve him.

He was nobody, and so his sad, lonely life came to an end.


	5. Annoyed (James/Lily)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James was never too good at reading facial expressions. Emotion - annoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Potter/Lily Evans.

James sat at the back of History of Magic, writing little notes. He then took them, and scrunched them up. Nobody questioned this, because they were very used to it – he did it practically every lesson.

He picked the first one up and threw it at Lily's head. The girl picked the scrunched-up parchment out of her long, red hair and opened it. She turned round in her seat and glared at him after reading it.

He then threw another at her, and she gave him the same response. He threw another, and he received another glare.

"Did you _see_ that!" he whispered loudly to Sirius after her seventh consecutive glare.

"Hm?" Sirius said, half-asleep.

"She _smiled_!"

"Mate, that was a grimace," Sirius said, sadly patting his friend on the back.

When they got out of the classroom, James made a beeline to Lily. She rolled her eyes and tried to get away before he could reach her, but she was unsuccessful.

"Evans!" he called.

"What is it, Potter?" she sighed.

"You smiled at me in History of Magic," James said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Sorry to burst your little bubble, but I wasn't smiling," Lily said coldly. "I wasn't happy, I was annoyed."

"Are you still annoyed?"

"By your presence? Yes," Lily replied.

"Would you be annoyed if I kissed you?" James tried hopefully.

The expression she gave him indicated that not only would she be annoyed, but she would be infuriated. But James was always bad at interpreting expressions, so he kissed her anyway.

When James returned to the common room that night, he was bald, had pimples all over and a very large nose. But at least he had kissed Lily.


	6. Nervous (Regulus/Barty)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barty admits his feelings for Regulus. Emotion - Nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regulus Black/Barty Crouch Jr.

Regulus was sitting alone on the floor, in the corner of the Slytherin common room. He was curled up, with his arms wrapped tightly around himself in an attempt to shield himself from the cold that emanated from the stone walls of the dungeons during the winter months. It was three o'clock in the morning, which is why Regulus found it odd when he heard footsteps. He looked up and smiled when he realised that the person approaching was his best friend, Barty.

"What are you doing up so late?" Regulus asked, as Barty dropped down onto the floor next to him.

"Could ask you the same question," Barty smiled. "I actually came to talk to you."

Regulus wondered what it could be about. It was three o'clock in the morning! Whatever it was, he decided it was probably important. "What's up?" he asked.

Barty fidgeted a little and then smiled sheepishly at Regulus. "I kind of don't want to say it now."

Regulus rolled his eyes at his friend. "Come on, you've got this far. You can do it."

Barty nodded and let out a deep breath. Regulus could tell that his friend was very nervous, and it pained him a little. Barty needn't be nervous around him.

"I'm gay too," Barty said quickly in a low mumble. Regulus was surprised at this revelation.

"You are?" he asked.

"Yes. I mean, I only figured it out recently."

Regulus smiled. "That's… actually really great, so now I'll have someone I can talk to who understands."

Barty grinned at him, and then cocked his head to the side in interest. "Out of curiosity, what's it like kissing a guy?"

"Well," Regulus said, thinking. "I've only kissed two guys. Hufflepuffs," he mumbled quietly, waiting for Barty's judgement, but none came. "They're the only two gay people I know in the school, so…"

Barty raised his eyebrows and then smirked. "I bet kissing a Slytherin would be a lot better."

"Yeah?" Regulus replied, laughing a little. "Good luck finding one."

Regulus watched as Barty rolled his eyes at him. "You're an idiot, Reg."

"Why?"

"Because I've already found a hot Slytherin guy I'd like to kiss," Barty murmured softly, leaning a little closer. Regulus swallowed hard, the sudden realisation hitting him like a bludger. Barty couldn't be talking about Regulus, could he? They were _best friends_. Regulus wasn't even sure he liked him in that way.

But then, he thought suddenly, there were times when Regulus had fantasised about Barty. There were certain dreams that he'd shoved to the back of his mind.

It was now Regulus's turn to be nervous.

"Oh yeah?" Regulus said in barely a whisper, his eyes burning into Barty's. "Who's that?"

Barty answered his question with a kiss.


	7. Removing the Mask (Bellatrix)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andromeda tells Bellatrix about her and Ted. Emotion - Embarrassed.

Bellatrix Black had always felt as though her main responsibility was to do her duty to her family, in being a role model to her sisters. She sometimes felt as though her true emotions were being supressed, squashed down until she wasn't even sure who she really was. Over the years, she had created a cold mask that she wore every second of every day. It had become a permanent fixture.

Bellatrix was very proud of her life, and of her achievements. She had managed to get through Hogwarts with straight O's, and her future was looking promising. Not only was she due to wed the prestigious Rodolphus Lestrange in under six weeks, but she had just been asked to work for Lord Voldemort, by no other than the man himself. She felt honoured.

Andromeda Black and Narcissa Black, her two younger sisters, were also doing well for themselves, and Bellatrix prided herself in their accomplishments. If it hadn't been for her example, then who knows where they would be?

It was summer, and so Narcissa and Andromeda were home for the holidays. Narcissa had disappeared to a formal meeting in which she would present herself to Lucius Malfoy's parents, in order to see whether they'd approve of her. Bellatrix had no doubt that her youngest sister would blow them away.

Bellatrix was sitting in her bedroom, writing a letter to Rodolphus, when she heard the faintest of knocks on her door.

"Come in," she said coolly, not looking away from her parchment. She heard the door open, and then someone shuffled into the room.

"Bella," came the quiet voice of Andromeda. Bellatrix swivelled round to face her sister. She was a little concerned with Andromeda's tone.

"Is everything alright, Andie?" she asked softly. The younger Black looked as though she had seen a ghost. She was pale as a sheet, and her eyes had dark red circles around them. Andromeda opened her mouth to reply, but was overwhelmed by whatever was bothering her and before Bellatrix could react, Andromeda had thrown herself into her arms. Harsh sobs filled the room as Andromeda held onto her sister.

Bellatrix, never the one to comfort people, held onto her. She didn't say a word, but kept a hand on Andromeda's back, slowly soothing her pain.

When Andromeda finally composed herself, she took a step back and sighed. "I love you, Bella. I want you to know that before I tell you what's wrong."

Bellatrix nodded. "I know you love me, and I you. What's bothering you?"

Andromeda closed her eyes as though unable to bear the sight of Bellatrix's reaction. "I've fallen in love," she whispered. "I… he's… not someone that our family would… approve of."

Bellatrix did not like the sound of this. Trying to keep up her cool façade that she had spent years mastering, she kept her voice calm. "Why would we not approve?"

"He's n-not… he's in Hufflepuff," Andromeda stammered, her voice going uncharacteristically high.

Bellatrix closed her eyes – this could _not_ be happening. "What is his blood status?" Bellatrix practically spat, despite her attempt at remaining calm. She opened her eyes again to see Andromeda looking particularly scared at this question.

"He's a… well, he's a muggle-born. I mean, it shouldn't really make difference-"

"-Get out."

Andromeda blinked quickly, a few tears escaping again. "I'm sorry?"

Bellatrix was now furious. " _GET OUT OF HERE!"_ she screeched, feeling the blood boil beneath her skin. "How _dare_ you come to me with this? What did you expect? Sympathy?"

"I was hoping for your understanding," Andromeda murmured, her voice thick with sadness. "I love him, but I also love you, and I don't want to lose either of you."

"Andromeda," Bellatrix said coldly. This was the first time in her life that Bellatrix had called her sister 'Andromeda' rather than 'Andie', and the younger girl didn't fail to notice this. "You will choose, right here and now."

"I can't choose between-"

" _You will choose_."

Andromeda shook her head and started to cry again as she stared at her sister's infuriated face. "I have to choose him, Bella. He's everything to me."

"Get out, then," Bellatrix demanded. "Count yourself lucky that I'm sending you away rather than punishing you for your disgusting behaviour."

"Bella, please… we're sisters…"

"You," Bellatrix whispered harshly. "Are no sister of mine. _GET OUT_!"

With that, Andromeda took one last fleeting look at Bellatrix and ran from the room. Bellatrix wasn't sure how she was meant to process what had just happened. She was angry, yes, but most of all, she was ashamed.

Embarrassed, even. Because Bellatrix had tried her hardest to set a good example for Andromeda. She had failed, and miserably so. Bellatrix was an embarrassment to the Black family, for she viewed her sisters' actions as her own responsibility.

So for the first time in a long time, she pulled away her mask and let her emotions run wild. She let out a strangled cry, and then she could not stop the sobs that came out of her, because despite all of her effort, Bellatrix Black had failed as a sister.

And that had been the most important thing.


	8. Paranoid (Sirius/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is a little too paranoid to realise what Sirius is doing under the table. Emotion - Paranoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.

Remus tapped his foot on the ground in an attempt to—well he wasn't quite sure what he was trying to achieve. He glanced at the women who were staring at him and a low growl came from somewhere within him.

"Remus _Lupin_ ," Sirius said sternly. "Was that a growl I just heard?"

"So what if it was?" Remus grumbled.

Sirius reached for Remus's cheek and turned his head so that he was facing him. "Don't growl unless you're growling at me."

Remus's lips quirked up a little at this. "Why would I growl at you?"

"Because," Sirius murmured, his eyes drifting down to Remus's lips and then back up at his eyes. "I'll seduce you."

Remus sighed. "I can't."

"Can't?"

"Not here. Not with those women staring at me. I know they know what I am," Remus whined, looking afraid.

"How could they know?"

Remus sighed and closed his eyes. "I can tell by the look of disgust on their faces."

"Oh stop being so paranoid," Sirius said, waving it off. "They're only looking at you like that because I've been running my hand up your leg for the past ten minutes in a sexual way."

"You have?" Remus asked, opening his eyes suddenly and raising his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah."

"Mm," Remus mumbled. "Why did I not notice before?"

"Because," Sirius said in an affectionate tone, "you're being your usual paranoid self. And I love you for it."

Remus smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I love you, too."

"So how 'bout we take this elsewhere and do things that would really make those ladies blush?" Sirius winked.

Remus couldn't say no to an offer like that, so he took Sirius's hand and left the pub excitedly.


	9. Werewolf Jokes (Regulus/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is stressed about the upcoming exams, so Regulus tries to lighten the mood. Emotion - Shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regulus Black/Remus Lupin.

It had been a long and stressful day. There were less than ten days till Remus was to take his first NEWT exam and he knew that he had a transformation before then, not to mention that he felt unprepared for the exam.

As he stepped into the Room of Requirement, his heavy sigh was met with a warm embrace. The hug didn't soothe his distress, but only made him feel worse.

"Reg," Remus said softly, untangling himself from his boyfriend. Regulus stared at him worriedly.

"What is it?"

"I shouldn't be here with you," Remus replied. "I have too much to do and spending time with you won't help me pass my NEWTs."

Regulus smiled sadly and pulled him in for another embrace. "See that's where you're wrong."

"I don't understand," Remus murmured into Regulus's shoulder.

Regulus pulled back and took Remus's hand, tracing small circles over his pale skin. "You're stressed out. Anyone could see that. You need to relax and take your mind off of things. If you're too stressed you will definitely fail."

Remus couldn't argue with that—his boyfriend was certainly smart. "Okay," he said, "try to make me smile."

"No pressure on me," Regulus laughed. "Erm, let me think."

"Good luck. I'm not in a good mood."

"Hm," Regulus said. "Ah, how about a joke?"

"I didn't know you were funny," Remus commented. Regulus's eyes narrowed and he whacked Remus in the arm.

"I _am_ funny."

"Really, because I thought your brother got all of the comedy genes," Remus smirked.

"Remus, shut up," Regulus said with an annoyed pout. "Really, let me tell my joke! I'm proud of it!"

Remus smiled. "Go for it."

Regulus cleared his throat. "Why are werewolves better than vampires?" He paused for dramatic effect, not noticing the shocked look on Remus's face. " _Because werewolves don't have a problem with steaks_!"

There was a long silence following Regulus's words in which Remus stared open-mouthed at his boyfriend. Regulus suddenly looked apologetic—maybe he shouldn't have made a joke like that.

But then without warning, Remus burst into a fit of laughter that shocked Regulus more than the joke had shocked Remus. After a moment, Regulus started laughing a little too.

"That was a good one, Reg."

"I'm glad you approve," Regulus said with a smile.

"I was pretty shocked," Remus said. "Nobody has ever dared make a werewolf joke around me before."

Regulus's cheeks turned a little pink. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking—"

"It's a good thing," Remus replied, stepping closer to him and planting a kiss on his lips. When they parted, Remus spoke again. "It means we're comfortable around each other."

Regulus smiled at Remus and sighed. "Can you kiss me again?"

"I most certainly can," Remus replied, and then they were locked together again in a kiss that was so sweet that Remus was definitely _not_ stressing out about exams.


	10. Memories Are Pain (Regulus/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus decides to tell Sirius that he is in love with him. Emotion - Heartbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Regulus Black (incest).

Regulus wasn't too sure what it was that made him decide that he would do the bravest thing that he had ever done, but as he stood outside Sirius's Charms class on that nerve-wracking Thursday afternoon, he started to regret his bold decision.

He paced back and forth as he tried to think of a good reason to stay. So far, he had come up with ten reasons to turn away and one reason to stay.

 _If I tell him that I'm in love with him then I'll finally know whether it can work_ , he thought. The very thought of telling his older brother that he loved him as much more than a brother made Regulus's stomach turn uncomfortably. However, if there was even the slightest possibility that Sirius might feel the same way, Regulus would want to know. Besides, if all went wrong—which he hoped it wouldn't—then he had a plan.

Regulus breathed out a deep sigh and continued to pace. His mind was made—he would stay and wait for Sirius to walk out of Charms.

The ten minute wait felt more like a ten hour wait; every second was noticeable by Regulus's thumping heartbeat. He had never felt so nervous and nauseous in his entire life. When the door finally opened and the seventh-year class spilled out of the room, Regulus scanned the crowd for Sirius.

He finally spotted the handsome Gryffindor and flagged him down with what was supposed to be a confident yell of, "Sirius," but came out more of a strangled cry.

Sirius turned at the sounds of Regulus's voice, and broke away from the crowd to join him. "Hey, Reggie. What's up?"

Much to Regulus's dismay, Remus Lupin and James Potter emerged at Sirius's side like magnets. Regulus swallowed, and focused on Sirius. "Can we speak alone please?" he asked quietly.

Sirius shrugged and nodded to his two friends, who walked away at Regulus's request. The two brothers headed off to an empty classroom so that their conversation would be more private.

If Regulus had thought he had been nervous before, he had been wrong—when Sirius shut the door behind them and turned to face Regulus expectantly, Regulus realised that he had just been merely anxious earlier.

"Right," Regulus started, drumming his fingers on the desk in an attempt to remain calm, "you must be wondering what this is about."

Sirius only nodded, looking a little curious. Regulus wanted more than ever to run up to him and just kiss him—it seemed a much easier way of admitting his feelings than having to say them out loud.

"I have a confession to make, and I really hope that you will still love me after I tell you," Regulus said in a rush of words. Luckily, Sirius seemed to understand.

The older Black narrowed his eyes. "You aren't a Death Eater, are you?"

"Of course not," Regulus said with a hint of annoyance in his tone. Sirius was forever suspicious that Regulus had joined the Death Eaters, and it was rather frustrating that he didn't trust him.

"Then I promise that I will still love you," Sirius replied in obvious relief. Regulus sighed and started pacing again.

"I'm… um," he could feel his face going red as it always did when he was scared. "Erm, I'm kind of… sort of… um—"

"—Spit it out, will you?" Sirius said with the trace of a smile on his lips. "Some people have lessons to get to."

Regulus wasn't usually one to get tongue-tied so he knew that Sirius was probably finding this conversation quite hilarious. Regulus, on the other hand, was finding it awfully painful.

"I'm—" he sighed inwardly, looking away from Sirius. "I'm g-gay."

There was a brief moment of silence, and then all that could be heard was Sirius's laughter. Regulus had to turn his head at this—of all reactions, he had not expected this.

"What's so funny?" Regulus asked quickly, suddenly very self-conscious.

Sirius grinned and shook his head. "Nothing, nothing. Just, I'm glad actually."

"You're glad?" Regulus repeated, feeling just the slightest bit hopeful. If Sirius was _glad_ that he was gay, then maybe it was because he felt the same way as Regulus did.

 _Keep dreaming_ , his more rational side told him sternly. _He will never love you in that way._

"You're not just some worthless follower of our family's traditions," Sirius said. "I'm really glad that you are admitting who you really are, instead of pretending to be someone else. It's really brave of you."

Regulus smiled a little. So far, so good. Sirius hadn't shown the slightest twinge of disgust towards him. _But the worst is still to come_.

 _Shut up,_ he argued with himself.

Sirius looked as though he was about to walk away, but Regulus threw his hand out in desperation to stop him. "Wait," he said quickly, "there's something else."

Sirius stopped at this, looking even more curious. "Go on…"

"Please don't freak out," Regulus pleaded.

Sirius rolled his eyes as if to say 'would I ever?', but Regulus knew that whatever Sirius was expecting, it wasn't nearly as bad as what Regulus was about to say.

"I'm in l-love… with, er—" Regulus cleared his throat as he tried to focus. His heart was pounding now in his chest, and his cheeks felt red hot. "—with, er… p-please don't hate me."

"I won't hate you," Sirius said impatiently. "Just tell me. You're in love with—who?"

"I'minlovewithyou."

"Eh?"

"Y-you," came Regulus's terrified whisper. This time he couldn't look away—he needed to see the reaction in Sirius's eyes. He _needed_ to know.

He watched his brother's eyes carefully. They widened. Was this a good sign or a bad sign—Regulus wasn't too sure yet.

"That's... Regulus, that's not right…"

"I know, and I'm so sorry," Regulus said quickly, feeling his heart drop. "Do you hate me?"

Sirius backed away a little. "I don't know. I can't… _you_ can't be in love with _me_."

Regulus swallowed hard. He couldn't find any words to explain himself, so instead he stared pathetically at his older brother as he tried to process the revelation.

"I don't get it," Sirius said abruptly, his voice turning cold. "Is this supposed to be a prank?"

"No," Regulus replied quickly. "It's… it's t-true."

"I'm your brother."

"Don't you think I know that?" Regulus said. He was desperately fighting back the tears now. He wished Sirius's could have loved him back, or at least understood…

"It's disgusting!" Sirius spat, sounding scarily like their father. "What's _wrong_ with you?"

"I'm s-s-sorry—"

Sirius gritted his teeth. "Look, I get that you are gay. I'm fine with that. But I'm _not_ gay. I actually have a girlfriend—Marlene McKinnon—and I love her very much. I _get_ that you want to love someone and I'm probably closest to you so you think you love me—"

"—I _know_ how I feel, Sirius," Regulus said firmly, his heart breaking at Sirius's words.

Sirius seemed to ignore him, carrying on as though Regulus hadn't spoken. "I can't continue being close to you if you start thinking of me in this disgusting way," Sirius said. "I'm sorry, it's just how I feel."

Regulus blinked in an attempt to stop the inevitable tears, but the attempt was for nothing. He could not hold back his violent sobbing or his flood of tears. Sirius turned to walk away, and Regulus knew now that all hope was lost. He had to use his last-resort plan.

Lifting a shaky hand, he pointed his wand squarely at Sirius's retreating back. He sniffed.

"I love you, Sirius," Regulus whispered, " _Obliviate_."

Sirius body went rigid, and then the older boy turned around to face the younger, with a blank expression.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked.

Regulus hastily wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled the best fake-smile he could. "You were telling me about your girlfriend, Marlene."

"Oh."

"Congratulations," Regulus said. "I hope that you two are really happy together."

"Thanks," Sirius replied, still confused.

Without another word Regulus dashed from the room, leaving Sirius alone. Regulus ran and ran, trying not to think about the conversation they had had. It hurt too much.

He was utterly and completely heartbroken.


	11. Shy (Sirius/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius has a sex dream about Remus. Emotion - Shy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.

Sirius Black was many things, but one thing that he wasn't, was shy. Sirius was usually an easy person to read, and his emotions were usually predictable.

For instance, everybody knew that whenever Sirius saw Severus Snape he would either become mischievous or he would become angry.

Everybody knew that whenever Sirius was hungry he would either become irritated or tired.

Everybody knew that whenever Sirius saw Remus he would either become over-the-top excited or, well… there was only one emotion for when he saw Remus.

But as Remus Lupin walked into the room, Sirius did not smile or jump up and down or run over to kiss him. No, Sirius sat and fidgeted. The graffiti on the desk in front of him had suddenly become very interesting.

"Sirius, are you feeling okay?" Remus asked, sitting down next to him. Sirius forced himself to look up at his boyfriend.

"Yeah, fine," Sirius murmured quietly, his face going red.

"I don't believe it," Remus said, grinning. "Sirius Black is shy!"

Sirius glanced up at Remus and scowled. "I am _not_."

"Then why can't you look me in the eye?" Remus challenged, raising an eyebrow. "You're shy and you're embarrassed about something. Go on, spit it out."

Sirius let out a nervous laugh and started fingering the etchings on the table. "Er, you know, I had… er… a dream last night," Sirius mumbled, _trying_ to look Remus in the eye and failing miserably. "It was… about you."

Remus snapped his fingers in front of Sirius's face, making Sirius look at him. Sirius could see the playful smile on his boyfriend's face and he couldn't help smile back.

"What happened in the dream?"

Sirius cleared his throat. He had no idea why he was being so shy. This was _Remus_ —Remus who was not only his partner, but his best friend.

"A s-sex dream," Sirius said in an attempt to sound uninterested that sounded more like a whine.

Remus raised both of his eyebrows this time and smirked. "A sex dream, huh? I didn't know you thought of me in that way. We've never discussed it."

"I just thought that you—you're a prefect—you didn't seem like you were interested…"

"Oh, Sirius," Remus muttered, biting softly on his lower lip. "I am _very_ interested."

Sirius perked up at this. "You are?"

Remus nodded slowly and leaned back in his seat. "I am," he murmured in a low voice. "In fact, I'm so interested that I think we should do it right now."

Sirius swallowed and tried to stay calm. He was not feeling shy anymore—he was buzzing with desire.

"You. Me. Bed. Now," Sirius managed to get out.

"I thought you'd never ask," Remus said with a grin, as they headed up to the dormitory hand-in-hand.


	12. Calm (Sirius/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is the only person who can calm Sirius down. Emotion - Calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.

Sirius Black was a frantic person. Sometimes it was as though he had taken some sort of energy potion. He couldn't do anything without making a big fuss over it. Everything, for Sirius, was supposed to be loud, extravagant and public.

Even when Sirius was asleep he couldn't keep still—his arms and legs would be all over the place and if anyone had the misfortune of sleeping in his bed, they would get injured.

That was, until Sirius and Remus became a couple. Remus slipped into Sirius's bed one night, and for the first time ever, Sirius was calm.

Remus was Sirius's calming influence, and Sirius loved him for it.


	13. Tense (Regulus/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus is a little worried that someone might walk in on him kissing his brother. Emotion - Tense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regulus Black/Sirius Black (incest).

Regulus found himself being pushed up against the wall, soft lips pressed against his in a hungry passion. He tried his hardest to lean in, to kiss back, but his eyes kept flickering to the door that was slightly ajar. The lips started trailing kisses across his jaw and down his neck to his collar bone. Rough hands tried to unbutton his shirt. Regulus wanted to let go and let it happen, but he just couldn't.

"Sirius," he said quietly. "Stop it."

Regulus heard an irritated sigh, and then Sirius was standing up straight, his lips and hands no longer touching Regulus.

"What's wrong?"

Regulus glanced at the door and then back at Sirius and then swallowed. "Anyone could walk in."

"Nobody will walk in, Reg," Sirius said softly, his eyes focusing on Regulus's lips again.

"The door is open!" Regulus replied, waving his arms for emphasis. "If someone walked in and saw us—"

"—We would deal with it when it happened," Sirius murmured, leaning closer. "But it won't happen so stop being so tense and kiss me."

Regulus shook his head and walked over to the door. He opened it ever so slightly more and poked his head out. To his amusement, he noticed James Potter standing on one side of the corridor and Remus Lupin on the other. Regulus stepped back into the room and closed the door behind him.

"What are your friends doing outside?" he demanded, folding his arms. "Do they know about us?"

"Of course they know about us," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "They're my friends. And also, James is the Head Boy and Remus is a Prefect. If they tell someone it isn't safe to walk down a corridor, then students listen."

Regulus nodded, feeling his worries seem to evaporate. "So nobody will walk in on us?"

Sirius smiled. "Nope. Just you, me, and the desk," Sirius whispered, glancing over at the desk and then at Regulus with ravenous eyes. "I want you on the desk. Now."

Regulus raised his eyebrows. "You think I'm actually going to do that?"

"You _will_ do that."

Regulus let his eyes flicker to the door again, and then he smiled. "Fine."

"Okay but hurry because James and Remus took a lot of convincing, and they gave me a time limit."

"How long?" Regulus asked.

"About two more minutes," Sirius said, grabbing Regulus and pushing him down against the desk with maybe a little bit too much force.

"Well then kiss me and get on with it!"

Sirius leaned down and started kissing him. Regulus was about to wrap his arms around Sirius, when the door opened suddenly and students started to flood into their room for their History of Magic lesson.

Sirius got up quickly, wiping his lips with ease. "Sorry guys. He stopped breathing. I was using the Muggle technique."

The students looked at Regulus, who sat up quickly. "Yeah," he said, letting out a breath. "Good thing Sirius knows the Muggle technique."

"Let's go," Sirius said. Regulus got up and followed him out of the rom. When they reached the corridor, James and Remus were standing there looking guilty.

"Where did all those students come from?" Sirius demanded.

"Lily walked past me and she actually smiled at me!" James said, his voice going from excited to apologetic in less than a second.

Sirius rounded on Remus. "And _you_?"

"I went chasing after James," Remus mumbled. "Sorry."

"Next time, Reg," Sirius said. "We'll find somewhere better."

Regulus smiled and nodded. "Sounds like a plan."


	14. Jealous (Regulus/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is very jealous, but not for the reason James thinks. Emotion - Jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Regulus Black (incest), Regulus Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans.

Sirius and James were sat at the Three Broomsticks, James blabbering on about Lily who had said "hello, James," to him yesterday, and Sirius pretending to listen as always. Sirius had already finished his Butterbeer, but James hadn't even touched his as he was too busy yapping.

"Do you think this means that I have a chance with her now?" James asked, his eyes shining. "I reckon I should ask her out."

"Don't," Sirius groaned. "Last time you asked her out you wouldn't stop moaning about her rejection for weeks."

James frowned. "Maybe I should wait a few months."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Maybe forever."

"Stop being an arse," James said. "What's wrong with you, anyway? You seem annoyed."

"What would give you that impression?" Sirius demanded. James shrugged and glanced down at Sirius's hands which were balled into fists.

James followed Sirius's line of vision to a table on the other side of the Three Broomsticks, and then the realisation hit him. At the other table, Remus and Regulus were chatting away animatedly and they were holding hands. They had recently become a couple.

Sirius was glaring daggers at them.

 _If looks could kill,_ James thought. "Sirius. Mate. Stop that."

"What?" Sirius growled.

"Stop being so darned obvious," James said.

"Obvious about what?"

"That you're jealous!" James replied, snapping his fingers in front of Sirius's face. Sirius's glare didn't falter. "You're going green."

"I'm not jealous," Sirius muttered, but his voice betrayed his words.

"You should have just told Remus how you felt," James said sadly. "I bet he would have chosen you over your brother any day."

Sirius turned his head to face James as the couple started kissing. Sirius looked disgusted. "I'm not jealous of Regulus."

"I get that you don't want to seem jealous," James said. "He's your younger brother and it seems stupid being jealous of him—"

"—I'm jealous of Remus!" Sirius growled.

"You're—what?"

"You heard me."

It took James a moment to realise what Sirius meant. I couldn't be…

"You're in love with Regulus?" James whispered in astonishment.

Sirius only nodded.

"Wow, that's… damn. Sorry, man."

"Sorry for what?" Sirius asked.

"Just—there's probably no chance for the two of you," James murmured sympathetically.

Sirius looked offended at this. "I know he's my brother and there are obviously certain things that make it look like we don't stand a chance, but I'm every bit as persistent as you are when it comes to Lily."

James thought about this and laughed. "True," he said. James had as much chance as being with Lily as Sirius did Regulus.

"Let's make a deal. By the end of sixth year, we will have them."

"Deal."

And suddenly Sirius was no longer jealous.


	15. Cowardly (Regulus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Regulus's mind as he is being sorted into his house. Emotion - Cowardly.

Regulus heard his name being called—he would have been able to hear it from a mile away. It was so loud in his ears, but in some ways he could barely hear his name being called at all over the deafening thumping of his heart. This was it—all of those lectures from his parents and from Sirius, all of those expectations. He was eleven years old. He was too young to be going through something as stressful as this.

"REGULUS BLACK?" Professor McGonagall called again. He was broken out of his thoughts by his name called the second time, and he hesitantly stepped forwards and took a seat on the stool. Hundreds of curious faces were all staring back at him, and he could feel his cheeks heating up. Before he could become too self-conscious, something dropped onto his head and all he could see was the inside of a musty old hat.

The Sorting Hat.

He gulped. This was it.

"Ah, another Black. Your family sure do love to breed. This shouldn't be too hard, then, should it? I suppose you want to be in Slytherin like the rest of your family?"

Regulus tried to shake his head. He tried to yell, "I'm not sure!" but he was frozen in fear. The thought of betraying his family and asking to be put in a different house was terrifying, but the thought of disappointing Sirius was also heartbreaking. Regulus had never been so frightened in his entire life.

"Scared, are we? I sense a little bit of internal conflict. You don't know if you want to be in Slytherin, but the fact that you're too afraid to tell me how you feel means you definitely can't be Gryffindor. I don't sense any Hufflepuff qualities about you. So either Ravenclaw or Slytherin."

The sound of his mother's voice started ringing in his ears. The thought of the Howler he would most likely receive in the morning, and the way she would call him a failure and a disappointment for the rest of his life was what made him open his mouth.

"S-Slytherin," he stammered, his throat going dry.

"I see. Well, better be…. _SLYTHERIN!"_

The hat was thrust off of his head and he was being directed towards the Slytherin table. On his way to his new House, all that Regulus could do was look for Sirius. He finally caught sight of his older brother and the glare he received could only mean one thing.

_You're a coward._

And he was. Perhaps Slytherin _was_ meant to be his House, after all.


	16. Contentment (Rabastan/Rodolphus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange are in love. That's all that matters. Emotion - Happy/Content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rodolphus Lestrange/Rabastan Lestrange (incest).

The first rays of sunlight spilt into the formerly dull room through the narrow crack between the curtains, and the silhouettes of two bodies intertwined were illuminated. The two lovers moved together in a fluid, practiced movement; the only sounds that were arising from the room were the high creak of the ornate bed every so often and their hitched breaths.

When they finished, the older man collapsed next to the younger man, and he closed his eyes and smiled. The younger man rolled onto his side and kissed his lover on the cheek.

"Run away with me," Rabastan murmured softly, running his hands through his brother's hair that was slightly damp from the sweat.

Rodolphus sighed and pursed his lips. "You know I can't do that, Rab," he said quietly. His voice was laced with sorrow and fear.

"I want us to be able to do this forever," Rabastan said. "We can't continue doing this if you get married. It wouldn't be right."

Rodolphus let out a small laugh. "It's not right anyway."

"We've been through this," Rabastan muttered with furrowed brows, "it _feels_ right, and you know it."

"I know," Rodolphus replied, and he slowly leaned over to kiss Rabastan. He pulled away and shook his head. "Mother and Father have asked me to propose to Bellatrix today."

"Today?"

"Yes," he said. "I don't know what to do."

Rabastan had stopped listening—he was going to lose everything he cared about. He was going to lose Rodolphus. He was going to lose mornings like this waking up with his naked body entangled with the man he loved.

"I love you," he replied. He hoped that the words would convince his older brother to leave with him, but in his heart he knew that Rodolphus—always so adamant about his duty as being the eldest son—would never betray his parents.

"And I love you, too."

When no more words were spoken, Rodolphus groaned and rolled over, straddling his brother. He leaned down and kissed him, while he slowly pushed himself back inside Rabastan's already adjusted body. Rabastan moaned into the kiss and brought his arms and legs up to wrap around his brother's body.

Rabastan turned his head to the side to allow Rodolphus access to his neck and collarbone. Rodolphus trailed kisses down his brother's jaw and down the nape of his neck, softly nipping at the skin and making Rabastan moan.

When Rabastan opened his eyes, he met his own gaze in the mirror that took up half of the wall, and he looked away hastily.

 _Why are you looking away?_ He asked himself. _Are you embarrassed about what you're doing?_

He turned his head back to the mirror and forced himself to watch as his brother made love to him. He watched his own face as he moaned at Rodolphus's hard thrusts and sweet kisses. He watched as tiny beads of sweat rolled down from his forehead onto the pillow. He watched the way their bodies moved together in a delicate motion, and he closed his eyes, letting himself drown in the feeling.

They laid next to each other panting heavily, and Rabastan could only think of the mirror and how disgusted he felt—he had watched his brother make love to him, and he had watched himself enjoy it.

 _It's so wrong_.

It was so wrong. The way their bodies moved together was graceful and beautiful but he couldn't help feeling that there was something very unnatural about it. They were brothers after all, and he had always known that, but seeing it in the mirror had really opened his eyes.

_It's so wrong._

There was no doubt about it, but when Rabastan turned his head to look at Rodolphus's sleeping form, he felt his heart begin to race, and there was a warmth that spread through him.

He loved Rodolphus, and love was always pure. Love was _always_ right. It didn't matter that they were brothers or that they were both men or that Rodolphus was soon to be engaged.

They loved each other. _And I wouldn't change that for the world_.

Rabastan wasn't sure of what would happen, and even the thought made his chest feel heavy so he shoved it out of his mind. There was no good dreading the future, when the present was as incredible as it was. He wanted to grab every moment and hold onto it forever, because there was no greater happiness than he felt in that moment.

And for the briefest of moments, Rabastan was content.


	17. Broken (Sirius/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of 'The Prank'. Emotion - Hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.

" _It was Black."_

Remus felt as though he had been put under some sort of full-body anaesthetic. He couldn't move, and he couldn't think. He was totally and completely numb.

" _Sirius Black."_

The words that the Slytherin had spat at him were circling round and round Remus's head on a never-ending loop. The numbness passed and now he felt nauseous.

" _Do you realise what could have happened?"_

Remus was vaguely aware that he was crying, but he didn't even try to wipe the tears away. He was transfixed in his own thoughts.

He was broken out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps approaching. He turned, and sighed visibly, his shoulders hunching. Just the person he didn't want to see.

"Remus," Sirius's voice came out soft and careful.

Remus ignored him and stood up from the chair in which he'd been sitting. He was about to walk away when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Please, Remus," Sirius said, "listen to me. I—I'm sorry—"

"—I don't want to hear it."

"I didn't mean to—I didn't realise—"

"—That you could have turned me into a murderer?" Remus questioned, his fury bubbling to the surface. "You never think, do you?"

Sirius looked hurt by Remus's word, and that infuriated Remus more. Why should _Sirius_ be the one who's hurt? Why should _Sirius_ act like the victim?"

"I thought you were my friend, Sirius," Remus continued, "I thought you were my… my soulmate."

Sirius could only look down. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"You were thinking that it would be a great way to get back at Snape," Remus snapped. "You chose your feud with Snape over me."

"I didn't—"

"I'm not even angry, Sirius," Remus said. "I was initially, but now? I'm just hurt. It fucking hurts."

"Remus—"

"And you're so pathetic, trying to reason with me. I will _never_ forgive you for this."

With that, Remus barged past him, grabbing the Marauder's Map from the table so that Sirius couldn't track him down. He ran and ran anywhere that his legs would take him. His vision was blurred by his tears, but he still continued running.

When he reached the very edge of the Black Lake, he collapsed onto the grass and let out the violent sobs that had threatened to tear out of him since the incident had happened.

Sirius had broken him.


	18. Cautious (Remus/Regulus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus decides to tell Regulus that he is a werewolf. Emotion - Cautious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regulus Black/Remus Lupin.

Regulus pressed his lips against Remus's as he felt two strong arms wrap around his body, holding him both tight but gentle. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, revelling in the feel, smell, touch of Remus. When they pulled away from each other, Regulus smiled.

"I love you," Regulus murmured against the nape of Remus's neck. He felt the older boy sigh and stepped back to get a good look at him. "What is it?"

Remus pursed his lips and then stared directly into Regulus's eyes. "I love you, too. But I have to tell you something that might change your mind about me."

Regulus couldn't help but laugh. "I could never change my mind about you."

"I'm sure you will."

Regulus found himself getting irritated with Remus's accusatory words. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Reg," Remus said quickly. "I'm just worried about what you'll think of me after I tell you."

"Just tell me, Remus," Regulus replied softly, taking his boyfriend's hand. Remus looked terrified, but he nodded.

"I'm a… a… never mind."

Regulus smiled. "You're nervous," he observed. "There's no need to be nervous with me, I promise."

Remus nodded and closed his eyes. "I'm a werewolf."

The words seemed to ring over and over in Regulus's head, and the first thought that came to his mind was to run as far as he could, but he hastily scratched away the thought as though it had never existed. He tried to stay calm—this was _Remus_. He may be a werewolf, but he was the absolute opposite to everything that Regulus had ever learned about werewolves.

He glanced at Remus, whose eyes were still closed. Smiling, Regulus inched closer and pressed his lips to Remus's once more and Remus's eyes fluttered open. Remus stepped back and blinked.

"What are you doing, Reg?" he demanded.

"I was _trying_ to kiss you, but you very rudely rejected me."

Remus folded his arms. "You don't hate me?"

"Why would I hate you?" Regulus replied. "I told you earlier—I love you."

"You still love me? After what I—after…"

"I will always love you," Regulus said, silencing the stuttering Gryffindor with a gentle kiss. Remus sighed into the kiss and wrapped his arms tightly around Regulus once more, and like that, it was as though the previous conversation hadn't happened.

Remus had imagined how the conversation would go in his head a million times, but never once had he imagined Regulus kissing him afterwards as though his big secret was just a casual discussion. He had been so cautious about telling the Slytherin, and his months after months of fear had all been for nothing.

But Remus wasn't complaining. All was well.


	19. Guilt (Regulus/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius feels guilty for the feelings he has for his younger brother. Emotion - Guilty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Regulus Black (incest).

Sirius sat at the Gryffindor table for dinner, surrounded by chatting students and plates of food, but he was not focused on what was near him. He didn't notice that Peter accidentally trod on his foot and he didn't notice Peter apologising. He didn't notice when James sneakily stole the last roast potato from his plate and he didn't notice when James ate it with a mischievous smirk. He didn't notice as Remus observed his behaviour.

Because Sirius was too busy gazing at a certain Slytherin on the opposite side of the room. Every time he stared at Regulus, his heart raced and a million different feelings ran through him. Sirius _loved_ Regulus. Sirius _wanted_ Regulus. But as he stared longingly over at his brother, the one emotion that trumped all others was guilt.

Guilt that he loved Regulus in a way he shouldn't. Guilt that he thought about Regulus in a way he shouldn't. Guilt that he was going to kiss Regulus later even though he knew that Regulus wouldn't like it.

But Sirius enjoyed feeling guilty.


	20. A Day on the Beach (Regulus/Barty)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barty is in love with Regulus and makes an attempt to impress him. Emotion - Humiliated.

Barty Crouch Jr had been in love with Regulus Black for as long as he could remember. The thing that Barty loved the most about being in love with Regulus was that Regulus was also his best friend so he got to spend as much time as possible with him.

Regulus was unaware of Barty's feelings, and in Barty's mind, this unawareness had gone on for too long. He wanted Regulus to know. Barty wanted to know if he had any chance in hell of being with the love of his life.

So Barty decided it was time to impress Regulus and make him fall in love with him.

* * *

Barty didn't take Potions for NEWTs but his friend Scabior did. He took Scabior aside one afternoon.

"Scabior, can you _discreetly_ find out what Amortentia smells like for Regulus?" Barty asked.

"What's discreetly mean?" Scabior asked.

Barty sighed. "I mean just don't make a big deal out of it."

"Why?"

"And don't ask me questions, okay?" Barty said.

"Fine. I'll let you know."

* * *

"'E said it smells like fresh bread n' money n' burnin' wood."

"Great," Barty said excitedly. "Next time you see him can you ask him where he would most like to go on a first date?"

Scabior raised his eyebrows. "Is there somethin' I need to know 'bout?"

"Of course not," Barty said. "Just ask him. Please?"

"Fine."

* * *

"'E wondered what the 'ell I was askin' 'im for. 'E said for a walk on the beach."

"A walk on the beach?" Barty asked, smiling. He could picture that now—Regulus holding his hand…

"You got somethin' to tell me Barty?" Scabior asked.

"Nope. Next time you see Regulus, can you ask him what his favourite gift would be?"

Scabior frowned. "Why?"

"Just do it, mate," Barty said. "Come on… for me."

"Fine."

* * *

"'E said 'e likes chocolate."

"Mmm, chocolate. How predictable."

"You gonna tell me what's goin' on?" Scabior asked.

"Maybe later, I will," Barty said. "Thanks for all your help."

"You're welcome, I guess…"

* * *

Barty found Regulus in the library after baking some bread, burning some wood and… well, he wasn't too sure how to pull off the 'money' smell so he was carrying some coins in his pockets.

"Hey, Reg!" he whispered loud enough for Regulus to hear him. Regulus looked up at him, and Barty gestured for him to come towards him. Regulus closed his book and headed over to Barty.

"What is it?"

"Come with me."

Regulus followed Barty all the way up to the Room of Requirement. When they entered, Barty heard Regulus gasp. The room had become a beach with sand and waves and even a breeze.

"Wow!"

"It's cool, right?" Barty grinned. He watched as Regulus walked towards a beach towel that Barty had put down. Regulus sat down and picked up the box of chocolates that had been left for him.

"Who did this?" Regulus asked.

 _Me_ , Barty thought happily. "I found it like this," Barty shrugged. He took a seat next to Regulus and smiled at him.

"God Barty, I have to tell you something," Regulus said quietly. "I'm in love with someone."

"You are?" Barty asked. "Who?"

_Me, me, me._

"Please don't judge me," Regulus said. "Or think of me any differently, okay?"

"Never," Barty said, his excitement almost showing. This sounded promising.

"I'm… gay."

"Seriously?" Barty asked.

"Yeah. Do you hate me?" Regulus asked.

"No way!" Barty said quickly. "Man, this is great!"

Regulus laughed.

"So who is it?"

"It's… well… it's Scabior."

Barty couldn't believe his ears. Scabior? His heart felt like it had stopped beating.

"It even smells like him in here, I'm sure he's the one who did this. I mean he's been asking me all of these random things the past couple of days. It all makes sense now."

Barty stopped listening. He felt heart-broken, sure. But he felt utterly and completely humiliated. He had truly believed that Regulus was in love with _him_. He had done all of these things to impress Regulus, only to find out Regulus loved someone else.

Barty smiled sadly and nodded at Regulus. "That's nice," he forced himself to say.

He stood up and started trudging towards the door.

"Hey Barty, where are you going?"

"I have… class…"

"Which class?" Regulus asked.

"Er… Potions…"

"You don't even take Potions," Regulus said.

"Yeah… well…"

Barty opened the door and walked away from Regulus. This had been the worst day of his life.


	21. Inspired (Remus/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has writer's block, and Sirius is the one to inspire him.
> 
> Emotion - Inspired

Remus was beginning to get frustrated. It wasn't that something annoying had _happened_ , it was that something annoying was _happening_. He had writer's block, and he was having extreme trouble moving past it. Remus had loved to write for as long as he could remember. He used to write a diary when he was a child, but grew out of it. As he grew up, he began writing poetry and then short stories.

But now – nothing. He couldn't come up with even the simplest thing.

He sat at his desk with a quill in hand, frowning intently at the parchment which had two words written on it – 'Chapter One'.

"Hey Moony," Sirius said, breaking Remus out of his frustrating thoughts.

"Oh, hi," Remus muttered, placing his quill on the desk and smiling at Sirius.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, sensing straight away that something was wrong with his boyfriend.

Remus sighed. "Just struggling to write."

"What are you trying to write _about_?" Sirius asked, placing his hand over Remus's and tracing small circles on Remus's pale skin.

"I have no idea," Remus said, shaking his head. "I have no inspiration."

"Write about us," Sirius murmured. "I can inspire you."

"Go on then, inspire me!"

Sirius smirked. "Hey, just remember – you asked for it."

Remus and folded his arms and sat back in his chair. "I said, inspire me."

"I'm on it," Sirius said quickly, leaning forwards and kissing Remus gently on the forehead and then the nose and then on his lips, which parted slightly at the touch.

He felt Remus sigh into the kiss and then Remus's arms were wrapped around Sirius's neck, pulling him in closer to deepen the kiss. Sirius brought his own hand up to caress Remus's cheek. Kissing Remus was the greatest thing Sirius could think of – nothing could ever match this feeling. It was truly magical.

When they broke apart, Remus was smiling at Sirius. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"You've inspired me," Remus breathed excitedly.

Sirius pouted. "What? _Already_? Are you sure you're fully inspired—"

"—Shh, before my ideas run away from me," Remus said, grabbing his quill and parchment and scribbling down everything that was coming to his mind.

Sirius rolled his eyes. The hardships of dating a writer. But Sirius wouldn't have him any other way.


	22. The Dark Mark (Regulus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus hates himself for taking the Dark Mark, so he does to himself what he thinks he deserves. 
> 
> Emotion - Overwhelmed

He stands in front of the mirror and stares at his own reflection, but the person he sees in the mirror is unrecognisable. He sees a seventeen-year old boy – he is not a man, men are supposed to be strong and he is anything but. He sees dishevelled black hair that looks as though it has never been brushed. He sees dark circles under his tired grey eyes, and as he stares into those eyes all he can see is his own self-loathing.

He feels overwhelmed by darkness. No matter where he turns, his conscience is plagued with guilt and anxiety and fear. He has made a huge mistake. His need to impress his family has made him forget who he is.

He used to blame Sirius. After Sirius abandoned him and left him to take on the responsibility of being heir to the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, he did everything he did to spite Sirius. But this… this is all on _Regulus_.

He can't blame anybody but himself. He lifts his left arm up and stares at the Dark Mark for a long time. He hates it. He hates the things it has made him do. He's hurt people. He's killed people. All for what? To make his family proud of him? His parents can't be more thrilled that he's joined the Dark Lord. But Regulus can't be any less disappointed in himself.

He deserves pain for what he's done. He deserves to hurt, like he's hurt others. The need to hurt himself is overwhelming, and in one swift movement he's smashed the mirror in front of him. Pain shoots through his fist from where it's made contact with the mirror.

He grabs a particularly sharp piece of glass in his right hand and shakily moves it to his left forearm. He presses the pointed end against his pale skin till he draws blood. He is crying but he doesn't care. He deserves this. He drags the shard of glass down his arm, slicing it open and watching as the blood runs down the sides and drips onto the floor.

He hesitates as the glass reaches the Dark Mark, but then continues dragging it across his skin. He doesn't want to see the thing that resembles every bit of darkness in his life. But after he's done, he can still see the Dark Mark. He wants it gone. He takes the shard of glass and goes over it again, and again, and again. He cuts into his skin until all he can see is a mangled, bloody mess and no sign that the Dark Mark had ever been there.

He knows it will become visible again, but for now he can relax. For now, he can be at peace. At least for a little while.


	23. Hopeful (Petunia/Vernon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petunia likes to watch him from afar.
> 
> Emotion - Hopeful

Petunia Evans was never the type of person to act first – she would sit patiently and wait for things to happen before even considering making them happen herself. She was the girl in her yeargroup who would sit in the back of the classroom in silence and just watch. She was quiet, and would only answer questions when the teacher specifically asked her to answer.

She knew everything about everyone because she was a good listener. She could listen for hours upon hours, and she would always remember everything she'd heard.

Her favourite person to watch and listen to was Vernon Dursley – he was in the same form class as her and she had fancied him for the longest time. She was extremely hopeful that they'd end up together, not just because she was an optimistic person but because she'd been watching him for years and never once had she heard her name pop up until quite recently.

Unfortunately she hadn't heard the full conversation, but she'd heard her name alright. Every day she would sit in her usual seat and watch Vernon, and as each day went by she hoped and she hoped until the day would come where he would approach her.

And _he_ would approach _her,_ because she was never the type of person to act first.

At last the day came, and after all of Petunia's hoping, Vernon approached her. He didn't even get a chance to ask her out before she yelled "yes!" and wrapped her arms around him. And it seemed that all of her waiting had paid off in the end – she couldn't be happier.


	24. Drooling (Sirius/Regulus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius likes to watch Regulus studying, much to the disgust of his friends.
> 
> Emotion - Distracted

Sirius was sitting in the library, studying. No, Remus and Peter and even James were studying because the NEWTs were in less than a week. Sirius, on the other hand was drooling. All over Remus's notes that he was supposed to be copying from.

"Sirius, stop that!" Remus scolded, looking repulsed.

"Hm?"

"Drooling all over my book!" Remus replied.

"I'm not drooling," Sirius said, composing himself. "I'm studying."

"Studying, my arse," James snorted.

"Okay, maybe I was a bit distracted," Sirius said, glancing over at the table he had been staring at previously.

"A bit?" Someone said – Sirius wasn't sure who. He had tuned out of the conversation. He was busy watching Regulus, who was doing his homework at the table he was staring at. Sirius loved watching Regulus do his homework. Regulus being studious turned Sirius on more than ever. Sirius liked the way Regulus's eyebrows furrowed when he was concentrating, and how he would rest his chin on his hand as he thought about what to write next. Sirius loved when Regulus put the end of his quill in his mouth while he thought.

Every now and then, Regulus would glance up from his work and make eye contact with Sirius. They would have silent conversations across the library with their eyes, and Sirius found it to be tantalising.

James cleared his throat loudly. "Sirius, can you please stop making vomit-inducing sex faces at your brother, thank you?"

Remus and Peter sniggered, and Sirius only scowled. Sometimes he wished he'd never told his friends about his relationship with Regulus, because they liked to make fun.

"They weren't _vomit-inducing_ ," Sirius said.

"Sirius, you looked like you were constipated," Peter said.

"—With drool dripping from your chin," Remus added.

"Shut up," Sirius growled. "Regulus finds my sex faces very sexy. He finds my _sex_ even better."

Sirius watched in satisfaction as his friends made faces at his words. James even gagged. Grinning, Sirius went back to watching Regulus. Soon enough, Sirius would be finished with Hogwarts, so there were only so many times he'd be able to do this and he wasn't wasting any of them. And so what if he drooled – he was enjoying himself, and that was the most important thing in Sirius's mind.


End file.
